


Glimpse of Love

by Rodionismyhero



Category: Voyná i mir | War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy, War and Peace (TV 2016)
Genre: Christmas, Dancing, Fluff, Love, M/M, and natasha is so annoying why is she even included, you know vaska's a good dancer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 19:32:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17648588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodionismyhero/pseuds/Rodionismyhero
Summary: This is officially my first fanfic written in English. Be kind. Thank you.Also... this just very roughly follows the canon so the timing is just... off.





	Glimpse of Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is officially my first fanfic written in English. Be kind. Thank you.  
> Also... this just very roughly follows the canon so the timing is just... off.

Nobody knew, of course. If they did, Nikolai would have been sent away from his family and only God knows what would have happened with Vassily. They kept their feelings secret even though Nikolai has been on the verge of telling Natasha many times.

What he felt towards Vaska was this indescribable admiration and love, which started by a strong friendship and eventually evolved into something bigger, a feeling which filled them both with happiness.

Back in the army days it was fairly easy to keep their feelings secret; there wasn’t enough privacy, time, they both were under pressure and the overall situation didn’t allow them to fully express what they felt towards each other.

When Nikolai asked his older acquaintance to stay at his place over the Christmas, not only was Denisov flattered, but the whole Rostov family felt honored by having such a kind visit. Denisov was everyone’s favorite, his wit made girls giggle and blush and his strong masculinity was like a magnet for little Petya who was looking up to him even more than to his older brother.

But little did they know about what was going on between Nikolai and Vassily behind the closed door. Since the day they arrived in Moscow they’ve spent almost every free moment in Nikolai’s room, enjoying the calm atmosphere the Christmas time brought in, filling the house with warm smell of cinnamon and wood slowly burning in the fireplace. It was an ideal time to indulge in resting, sleeping in, good food and of course enjoying each other’s presence. They put a lot of effort to making sure they weren’t too obvious and still appeared as best friends in the eyes of Nikolai’s family. But the feelings Nikolai felt towards Vassily were too strong and growing each day, making him feel like if he was going to burst.

“I’m going to tell Natasha,” he said and looked at Vassily who shook his head in response.

“You can’t do that, she is going to tell your mother,” Denisov said.

Nikolai shrugged. “I don’t care anymore. I don’t mind,” he said firmly, but his eyes said the exact opposite. He was afraid his family would turn him down, he would lose his dignity. “Yes, I am worried. But I want at least someone to know.”

“If that's something you genuinely want, then perhaps…” Vassily said with a strange calmness in his voice. He too was scared, he could lose his position in the army which was so dear to him, he could lose his family. But the feeling of freedom the revealing of their secret offered seemed too tempting, it was so hard to resist.

***

Nikolai sat in a big, comfortable armchair in his younger sister’s room. She was staring at him with a questioning look, not understanding her brother’s strange behavior. He was obviously nervous, his cheek flushed slightly as if he was feeling hot, his fingers nervously dancing on the armrest.

“What is it!” she whined, dying with curiosity. Nikolai felt another wave of anxiety flooding his whole body. He was suddenly so unsure about this all but knew that there was no way back.

“I… Uhm- I… You have to promise me you won’t tell anyone,” his voice broke and he looked away. Her look was making him even more nervous.

“I won’t, promise! Just tell me already!” She stood up from her bed, took a chair from next to the table and sat closer to Nikolai. Her eyes were shining with anticipation. Nikolai moved slightly away from her and crossed his legs.

“Denisov and I have grown quite close in the past year,” Nikolai’s eyes were flickering, occasionally stopping at Natasha. She just raised her eyebrows and giggled, obviously not understanding what he was trying to tell her.

“Yes, I’ve noticed that. You two are like brothers,” she smiled.

“Natasha, I love him,” Nikolai almost whispered, feeling desperate to leave the room and never have to look at his sister again. The silence in the room was suddenly so loud and heavy, he could hear his sister holding her breath. Her cheeks turned deep red, she didn’t know what to say, she felt how _wrong_ that was, it has never even crossed her mind that two men could ever… no.

“What… What do you mean?” Natasha frowned, creating two small wrinkles in the middle of her pale forehead.

“Do I need to explain myself any further?” he snapped at her, feeling terribly ashamed of himself. Natasha’s expression went from petrified to somewhat amused. A subtle smile lifted the corners of her lips. Nikolai couldn’t stand it any longer, stood up and headed to the door, but Natasha caught his hand and tugged him back to the armchair.

“But Denisov proposed- “

“That was three years ago!” Nikolai cut her off and she started chuckling.

“You’re jealous?” Natasha laughed and poked her brother.

“Nathalie!” He frowned at her, not understanding her reaction. He hoped she would understand but was prepared it would take time. But she seemed to be much more open-minded than he had expected.

Natasha’s primary feeling that what her brother was telling her was wrong suddenly disappeared and she was glowing with excitement. She saw it as something unique, something fascinating. There were so many questions popping up in her head, she wanted to know everything!

“But you can’t get married!” She breathed out finally, after having assessed all her thoughts.

Her reaction made Nikolai laugh. “That’s the last problem we’re dealing with,” he said and watcher his sister’s eyes beam with anticipation, hungry for more information. He didn’t know what else to say, as if he suddenly forgot everything he’d wanted to tell her.

“You mustn’t tell mother,” he whispered eventually and felt that he was blushing again, feeling like a small boy doing something forbidden.

“Don’t worry,” Natasha smiled and wrapped her thin arms around him. “I’m so happy for you!”

***

It’s been a week since Nikolai told Natasha about his feelings towards Vassily. It seemed like nothing has changed apart from the knowing looks she was sometimes giving them both and Nikolai’s face immediately turning red in response. Vaska has always just laughed it off and kept pretending to be Nikolai’s best friend.

It was a family tradition to attend a gathering at Count Kochubey’s house the day before Christmas each year. Nikolai knew it’s almost a duty for him to go with his family, but he wished to have at least one day he could spend with Vassily without having to worry someone would see them, therefore decided to stay home. His father had nothing against, since Nikolai lied and told him he had been invited to another event and it was expected from him to come.

Natasha knew this all and she was burning with the desire to stay home with them, actually _see_ them together. Therefor she decided she would play sick and stay home. There was just one little detail she may or may not have forgotten to do – and that was telling Nikolai she was staying home as well.

The house was full of the Christmas spirit, the decorations hanging everywhere since the countess Rostova was enjoying this time of the year and was fully dedicated to the festive Christmas spirit. Other than the sound of fire burning in the fireplace, the house was completely silent. Nikolai was leaning against Vassily on a sofa in the living room, enjoying the moment of calm, not having to worry about someone seeing them. Vassily was writing a letter home and had fingers of his left hand tangled in Nikolai’s hair. The silent moment was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Denisov immediately moved away, spilling the ink all over the sofa. Nikolai quickly moved away and turned his head towards the door only to see his sister standing in her light blue dress, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

“What are you doing here!” Nikolai cried out. “You were supposed to – “

“I wanted to stay home as well,” Natasha kept smiling and danced towards the sofa.

“This wasn’t nice from you, countess,” Denisov sighed, trying to save the stained fabric of the sofa by wiping it with a handkerchief.

“I’m sorry, I… I was thinking you could maybe enjoy a little bit of music?” Natasha kept smiling and unsure about their reaction she sat behind her clavichord and played a simple melody with her right hand, then looked at Nikolai. She knew he was mad at her but hoped he would forgive her soon. What she expected the least was Vassily’s reaction. His face suddenly lit up, he stood up and caught Nikolai’s hand.

“If you please, countess,” he nodded towards Natasha who immediately started playing a playful tune, eager to see his brother dancing with another man. Especially Denisov, who, as she very well knew, was an excellent dancer.

Nikolai felt a little embarrassed but didn’t resist and stood up, immediately was thrown into a whirlwind of fast dance figures he wasn’t particularly good at unlike his shorter partner, who was like hurricane and even though his leading skills were brilliant as well, it was difficult for Nikolai to keep up with the fast tempo. Vaska was laughing, but that didn’t take away the nimbleness and litheness of his moves.

Nikolai felt like he finally got the hang of it, but when Vassily unexpectedly turned, he wasn’t sure where his feet went. What he was sure about was the fact that it definitely wasn’t the right place, he ended up tripping over and falling into Denisov’s arms. Natasha stopped playing, he could feel her eyes on him, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was the way Vassily was looking at him, the way he was holding him. He could feel his breath on his skin, his deep blue eyes, his tight grip.

Vassily slowly moved even closer and gently kissed him. This time it felt different, so true and genuine, so soft and loving. It made him forget about his sister being in the same room, it made him forget about the entire world.

All he knew was that he was in love.


End file.
